It has been three weeks since I last wrote a footy blog. Almost to the minute. And so I find myself in some of the same circumstances in which I last came to blog.
It’s almost midnight on a Sunday night and I have returned from an evening in Warrington watching Samoa battle valiantly on the pitch. I am propped up in bed, tapping away at my iPad, hoping to keep peeps updated on the days events.
Except this is not how I planned to spend this Sunday evening. In the world of my plans I was meant to be on a plane right about now: my World Cup travels completed and winging my way home to join my family and return to the grindstone.
It has been said many times before, but life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Ironically, it’s probably best known through John Lennon’s song, ‘Beautiful Boy’.
My life has been altered irrevocably on this footy trip. Indeed, this has been a footy trip with very little footy (well, compared to what my original itinerary had). Footy has become a side note to my days and I have undergone a radical perspective change.
I do apologise for the followers of this blog (all 15 of you) who were expecting regular footy updates. I actually created this blog at the beginning of the year with the express purpose of preparing for this trip – to give daily updates on my thoughts and musings on what shaped to be a pretty spectacular league World Cup. That was the plan. For those who came in late, just read my previous post to bring you up to speed.
My daily posts are now restricted to Facebook updates on my personal profile to keep family and friends up to date on our/my daily struggles as we live day to day in the neo-natal unit. My posts are nearly always late at night and done through a veil of exhaustion. I’ve usually had the day to think about what the days update will contain. I’ve mulled the composition over and thought about whether to include some levity in with the commentary. By the end of the day what we’ve gone through has had time to sink in, for some of the initial angst and worry to wear off, some of the pain to dull. And in the early days there were some pretty good pain killers.
But for the most part I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to post updates. I don’t want to come home from the hospital, I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning and I don’t want to open my eyes. I don’t want to do any of this any more. I’m exhausted. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I’ve had. My eyes are always sore.
I know that I need to keep things in perspective. I know we’re not the only family in the world to go through the day being hypnotised by hospital monitors. I’m guessing over three quarters of the planet would be grateful for the access to the medical facilities that I am taking for granted. I’ve personally met new mums in third world remote villages who were thankful for ice we gave them as their only means of pain relief. Perspective. I could use it right about now.
If only I could go home and have to remember it’s bin night, that my daughter demanded I have a tea party with her, that I had to slump off to bed early because I have to work tomorrow. But I can’t. I’m on the other side of the world, with no semblance of normality. My reality is my own little world sitting beside an incubator. I know there are people worse off than me, but they don’t occupy my world.
I am trying to use footy as a means to bring some normality back to what I’m doing. Footy and footy players is what I know. I know how to get behind and barrack for a team. I know how to support a cause. This time the cause is closer to home and my team is a bit too small to kick a footy.
I’m backing #TeamRonan. So todays update (Day 20) is in the style of a match report.
“It was a tough day on the pitch for #TeamRonan, with previous poor form casting a shadow over the days expected proceedings. After some pretty impressive first up performances #TeamRonan has seen a slide down the ladder, which the captain was hoping to arrest with a strong appearance going into week 3. Todays start does not inspire confidence. With the match barely underway, the officials let slip with speculation of a heart murmor. When the adjudicator was called in to give expert analysis she stated that #TeamRonan was retaining too much water and that the cause was either a faulty valve in the heart or a chronic lung condition. Neither of these options have instilled the coach with confidence, however further tests in upcoming days should provide answers for #TeamRonan supporters. Whilst it doesn’t appear that #TeamRonan will be surging ahead anytime soon, the coach will be hoping to curtail any further slides.”